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It’s time to blindly follow

mime Its time to blindly follow{source}

Last week I had lots of posts planned but our week’s holiday was so packed with productivity {yay!} that I didn’t go near the computer all week.

Alas here I am, sat looking at the screen with my fingers ready to bare my soul but my pride stopping them from moving.  The truth is that the biggest, most overwhelming, thing in my head right now is a sense of failure, disappointment and anger at myself.  I can blame it on all sorts of things but the root of it is a deep sense of disappointment in myself at my lack of progress to reduce my weight and improve my health.  Weight battles.

Im not enough 300x300 Its time to blindly follow

This isn’t a new place for me, I’ve been berating myself about my weight for as long as I can remember.  Life is busy and I could come up with at least half a dozen excuses about why I’ve not made progress.  But ultimately life isn’t likely to get any less busy and I know what to do, yet still I’m not doing it.

The work I did with Laura earlier this year taught me how my body likes me to eat, low sugar, low carb and not skimping on fats.  Yet still I am stuck in the midst of weight battles, honestly I think there is something psychological that is holding me back.  It is trapping me in my own imaginary box of excuses.  I can’t workout the problem so I am reaching out for help in working it out.  To be able to ‘fix’ my weight battles for good I think it is key.    But in the meantime, something has to change.

If you don’t like where you are, move.
You are not a tree.

Recently I decided to stop trying to make up our own rules to fix William’s sleep issues and instead I blindly followed what I know affectionately refer to as ‘The Sleep Bible’.

It worked.

Then I decided to stop trying to wing it with regards to my skin and instead I surrendered to the wonderful skincare queen that is Caroline Hirons and blindly follow her routine and product recommendations.

It worked.

Seeing the progress that Lauren has made since featuring on “Secret Eaters” really brought home just how much time I have wasted by trying to beat the system.

It’s never too late to be what you might have been.
- George Elliot

No more dancing around the subject and trying to make my own rules.  It’s become too easy to justify, turn a blind eye or hide behind being busy when really I have allowed other things to leapfrog my own wellbeing on the priority list.  Too easy to avoid weekly video updates because I’m too busy ashamed of repeating the age old story:

‘I am struggling with my weight battles again, despite the knowledge and support I have and the goals I’ve set and I am terrified I will never achieve the place of health I aspire to’

It’s time to get my head down and suck it up, to pick a set of rules and blindly follow.

I am ready to surrender.
I am ready for it to work.

God help me, it’s time to D.I.E.T.

courage Its time to blindly follow

Comments

  1. If it’s any consolation, I know EXACTLY how you feel. Cos I feel like that too. x

    • Logically it shouldn’t be this hard but it seems like so many of us have a battle with it. Interested to see how I handle things over the next few weeks and if anything changes.

      Amy x

      ps: must catchup about your house, so sorry it has fallen through :(

  2. i also worked with L earlier this year and struggled big time with the “head” stuff. I seemed to know all the theory but there were certain road blocks that i just couldn’t overcome, and even with my background and knowledge in psychology / psychoanalysis / mindfulness etc it was still as mind boggling for me!!! i also was going through a phase of kidding myself that i could eat/do whatever i wanted and still lose weight, kidding myself that i could have my cake AND eat it! (which I did!)

    a book that my ww blogger friends highly recommended was Jon Gabriels “the gabriel method” and its probably the best £7 kindle purchase I have ever made. Most books tell you what and how to do it but nobody really talks about the “why” – Its the only book out there that really cuts the c*ap and goes into the deep rooted issues behind weight gain, and therefore weight loss. it is a great reminder that we need to focus on the real issues behind it all if we really want to tackle it head on. Its certainly not a replacement for “proper” therapy but to be honest its not a bad start I feel a changed woman after reading it! have a read and then just PLAN, COMMIT, ATTACK!

    today i re-commited to weightwatchers, new start, scrapped the up/down weight loss struggle of last year and just decided that today is back to square one. I’ve got that “diet” mentality too – we can do this together!

    my ww was talking about xmas 2013 and then he said “we will all love xmas 2014 because we will all be at GOAL”… thats when you and I turn 30 – we can do this !!!

    chin up lovely you are doing great :) xxx

    • Thanks Chrissy your comment is so encouraging and great info! This is why I love blogging – the sharing of ideas and knowledge, it gives me the warm fuzzies!!

      Off to look at that book you’ve recommended xx

  3. You know if there is anything at all I can do to help you know I’m here (not talking about anything paid, just support as a friend) I really want to see you get to where you want to be. You deserve it. I think asking yourself what is holding you back and looking at the mental blocks is a great step. xxx

    • Laura thank you so much for your offer! I will be intouch but I have to prove a few things to myself first.

      Amy x

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